Personality disorders can affect every part of a person’s life, from their relationships to their view of themselves, and even their view of the outside world. For people who suffer from Dependent personality disorder (DPD), this personality disorder can affect every minute decision in their life. DPD is characterized by an over-reliance on other people to make decisions in the patient’s life. People who suffer from DPD often have trouble making everyday decisions on their own, from what to eat to even what to wear. Whether it’s a friend, a parent, or a romantic partner, they rely extensively on the other person to make decisions about their life and to reassure them that the decision they’re making is the right one. Due to this, they often feel helpless when relationships end, and they are quick to seek out another one because they don’t feel as if they can care for themself outside of the relationship. This deep-seated fear of separation affects every aspect of their life and they are often seen as pessimistic, expecting the worst to happen in any situation. They are often seen as people pleasers as they have an extremely difficult time saying no for fear of rejection. They will often volunteer for unpleasant tasks if they believe it will gain support from people.
To be diagnosed with DPD, patients must display five or more of the following symptoms.
1. Difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others.
2. Needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of their life.
3. Has difficulty disagreeing with others for fear of loss of support or approval (not including realistic fears of retribution).
4. Has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on their own due to lack of self-confidence rather than lack of motivation or energy.
5. Goes to excessive lengths to gain support and nurturing from others including volunteering for unpleasant tasks.
6. Feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone due to exaggerated fears of being unable to care for themself.
7. Urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends.
8. Unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of themself.
As with many personality disorders, the exact cause of DPD is unknown, though studies have shown children have an over fifty percent chance of developing the disorder if one of their parents suffers from it. As many studies show that the disorder is more commonly diagnosed in women than in men, some studies have suggested that a society’s gender roles also play a part in the development of this disorder. Overprotective and authoritarian parenting styles can also lead to the development of DPD as the child isn’t given the chance to learn that they can do things on their own. The chance to develop this disorder only increases if the patient has a history of long-term abusive relationships, further cementing the fact in their mind that they can’t care for themself. Children with a history of anxiety disorders as well as physical illness that result in them having to rely on people also are more susceptible to developing this disorder.
While medication has been used to treat the anxiety and depression that some patients with DPD suffer from, there isn’t a medication that can treat the core problems of DPD. Rather, treatment focuses on psychotherapy, working with the patient to increase their independence and help them form healthy relationships with those around them. By working with a patient to increase their confidence and self-esteem, the therapist works to quiet the voice in their head that’s constantly telling them they’re not enough or they’re stupid. While treatment can seem slow at times, it’s important to re-enforce beliefs that the person can take care of themself and they don’t always have to be around someone to continue to thrive.
